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OkCupid Top FAQ

  1. We know you’re a total catch, but we also know it’s really hard to show other people the real you on dating apps. That’s why OkCupid has lots of ways for you to make an interesting and unique profile, just like you! 

    Are you a visual person?

    Are you more of a writer? 

    • Express yourself in your profile prompts.
    • Add explanations to Match Questions for maximum wordage. 
    • When you introduce yourself to someone else, your message will show up on your profile/ DoubleTake card along with the rest of your info. That way, when they’re deciding whether to Like you or not, they’re taking your awesome message into account at the exact same time as everything else- no more judging solely on whether they think your photo is hot or not.

Yes, you do have to Like someone to send them a message. We want conversations to be only between people who are interested in each other, so you have to Like someone before messaging them.

Please note that if someone messages you, and you’re not interested in them, there is no expectation on our end that you tell people that you’re not interested. You can just pass on the profile and move on. They will not be told that you Passed on their profile. They also will not see your profile again on the site, and you won’t see them, so it won’t be awkward.

If you’d prefer to tell someone in a message that you’re not interested, that’s fine! But you would have to work within the messaging system, which means liking someone before messaging them.

If you and another member Like each other, we always let you both know, for free.

  • If they like you first: as soon as you Like their profile, you’ll see a pop-up telling you that you both Like each other! 
  • If you like them first: we’ll send you a notification as soon as they Like you back 
  • We also show you these people at the top of your Likes page, in a section labeled “Matches” and we show you people who have Liked you and sent you an Intro in the intros section.

Additionally, if someone Likes your profile, you’re more likely to see them sooner in DoubleTake than someone who hasn’t Liked you, because we want to make sure to give you the opportunity to Like them back! (And if you Like someone first, that means they’re more likely to see you too). 

As long as you’re active and Like everyone you’re interested in, you’ll always know who Likes you back, for free. 

If you have disabled your account, you can reactivate the account any time you like. To do so, just log into OkCupid with your email address and password. We’ll show a prompt for you to confirm that you would like to reactivate. Click yes and your profile will once again be active and visible on OkCupid.

If you have deleted your account, you cannot reactivate your account. Deletion is permanent. However, you can create a new account with the same email address if you wish. 

Please note that our Privacy Policy means we do automatically close accounts after a period of inactivity. If you have not accessed your account in over a year and cannot log in, that may be why. If this is the case, you will be able to create a new account using the same email address.

We understand how important it is to have full control over who sees you on dating sites. That’s why we have a full range of account settings and privacy controls available.

Controlling who can see you
You will see and be seen by people who are the age/ location/ gender/ orientation you are looking for, and whose parameters also describe you.

Those age and distance settings are not hard filters; you may see or be seen by people who are slightly outside of your preferred age range, or slightly farther away than your preferred distance.

If your profile is set as gay or bisexual, you can additionally opt to not see or be seen by straight people, regardless of what your Looking For settings say (for example, if you’re bisexual and are interested in men and women, you will only see non-straight men and women; or if you’re gay and looking for friends of any gender, you will only see non-straight folks). This can be turned on in your settings, while setting your orientation.

Blocking and Unmatching
If you don’t want a particular person to see you anywhere on OkCupid, you can block them. Blocking is reciprocal, so you won’t see them anywhere either. Blocked people also cannot message you.
If you’ve liked someone but are having second thoughts, you can Unmatch. This will do the same thing.
We do not tell someone that you have blocked or unmatched with them- you simply disappear everywhere for them, including any conversations you may have had with them.

Profiles are visible only to logged-in OkCupid members
In order to view OkCupid profiles, you must be a logged-in OkCupid member. We will never show your profile to anyone who is not logged in, including in Google search results. This is so that your settings of who can see you will always be honored. 

No one can search specifically for your name or your profile on OkCupid. 

If you’re looking for even more control, Incognito Mode will only show your profile to people who you have Liked. Your profile will be completely hidden from everyone else. You can read more here.

We use HTTPS throughout the site for your safety.

Personal Information

Information We Collect
You can read more about what information we collect and how we use it in our Privacy Policy.

Information Available To Others
Other OkCupid members can see what you put in your profile: your photos, your essays, your details, your public questions, your first name, and what you’re looking for.

Other members  never get to see your email address, billing info, or any other hidden information.

We do not display your A-list or Incognito status to anyone — your profile will appear just like anyone else’s. If you are Incognito, no one will be able to see your profile at all unless you have liked or messaged them, but once your profile is visible to them, it’ll appear normal. 

“Recent Activity”
Some actions you do on the site may appear on potential matches’  Welcome page under “Recent Activity.”
    •    Upload a photo
    •    Update your status (like changing from ’single’ to ’seeing someone’)
    •    Update your profile essays
    •    Answer a match question publicly